Wedding Preparation 101
Groom Says / Bride Says

So let’s get our hands dirty on the wedding preps.  There are many aspects to the preparations and ideally, as a couple, it would do well if you work on these jointly or split the tasks.  Do I hear a round of protests?  Split the tasks?  Do I hear the brides guffaw at the thought?  Admit it girls, you’d rather have the grooms take the backseat in the preps and just let them mind the finances.  But hey, it’s their wedding too.  They MIGHT (however small the chance is) want a hand in it as well.  Assign them tasks that they might take interest in…like the photography and videography.  Guys always like the techie stuff.

1.    Setting the Date or Prep Time 

Bride says:  First things first.  When are you getting married?  How much time are you going to spend preparing for the wedding?  Idyllically, it takes six months to a year to prepare.  The wedding date is something you and your groom have to decide on TOGETHER.  After setting the date, work backwards and schedule your tasks.  You cannot book for a venue or the other suppliers without a set date.  And remember, booking early can mean significant savings.  It’s usual that suppliers increase their prices every year.

2.     Budget

Groom says:  Decide on a budget you guys are comfortable of spending.  Usually, the budget depends on how many you are inviting to the wedding because a huge chunk of the money goes to the reception which covers food and venue.  Do you really have to invite the whole town?  Keep your party to your family, close relatives and friends.  Answer the question, if this person doesn’t invite me to his wedding, will I be peeved?  If the answer is yes, then invite him.  If not, you can scratch him off of your list.

Bride says:  Another pricey detail can be the wedding clothes.  Do you really have to have a designer design your dress?  Maybe consider having the clothes made by a reliable seamstress.  Or get them off the rack.  No use spending the first year of your marriage paying off debts.
 

3.    Theme

Groom says:  Themes and motifs are not essential. 

Bride says:  I beg to disagree.  Of course a theme IS essential.  It sets the tone on how the wedding will turn out.  You’d want the color and style of wedding clothes to the reception venue to complement each other.  Say if you are thinking of exchanging vows by the beach, a heavy ballroom type dress is out of the question.  So think of a theme that best fits you and your groom’s personality or something that you like doing together.  If you are movie buffs, you could have movie ticket-style invites and a cake designed with scenes from your favorite film.

4.    Church & Reception Venue

Bride says:  Again, the venue should go with the theme plus it should be able to hold the number of your guests.  If you are Catholic, it’s a requirement you get married in a church.  Christians are less strict and allow garden weddings and destination weddings.  For the reception venue, give yourselves enough space to mill around as you would be posing for a lot of photographs.  Parking may also be an issue so be sure to have ample parking space for all your guests.

Groom says:  If budget permits, you can hire someone to do valet parking.

5.    Wedding Outfit

Groom says:  Leave this to the women dude.

Bride says:  Men don’t normally bother what the bride or the entourage will be wearing.  I say, keep what you’re wearing a secret but at the very least let your groom approve of what he and the bridal entourage will be in. 

6.    Food / Cake

Bride says:  The food and cake can still go with the overall theme of the wedding but mostly, choose the food that you as a couple love.  Best to serve different viands of fish, meat, and veggies since you might have guests that are vegetarians or have allergies.  The cake serves as the centerpiece of the buffet table (if you have one that is), so do choose a cake that would take the cake (pun intended).  However, don’t forget the budget.

Groom says:  As long as it’s palatable, I’m all for it.  While scouting for the right caterer for you, attend food tasting events!  Free food!

7.    Flowers

Bride says:  Three things.  (1) Choose your favorite flowers for you and your entourage’s bouquets that will complement the motif; (2) choose those which will last long; and (3) keep in mind what flowers are in season.  Gardenias and Hydrangeas are available all year round.  Roses don’t last as long as carnations.  Ask your florist! 

8.    Invites

Bride says:  Handmade paper invites tend to be pricier than those that are made via machine.  You can choose from the designs your supplier may have already done in the past or by all means, design your own. 

9.    Guests

Bride says:  This is the nutty part.  Ask your groom to write his list of guests including family.  Do you own list too.  Keep the budget in mind and trim down the guest list.  Invite those in your A list and if someone from the list turns down your invitation, you can proceed to your B list. But the more important question is does the RSVP work?  Face it, not everyone responds to the RSVP.  Typically, 15% of those you invite will not come and 15% of those who confirmed their attendance won’t come either.

10.    Photographer / Videographer

Groom says:  What kind of approach do you want your wedding photographed?  Some couples opt to have both traditional and journalistic approaches.  Most photographers can do both.  For the traditional photos you want taken, draw out a list for the photographer — for example, state that you want a photo with the bride’s family, the groom’s family, the whole clan, etcetera.  For the videographer, you have to consider his editing style.  A video can really get expensive, so before booking, as with choosing a photographer, request for samples of their work.

11.    Souvenirs

Bride says:  Souvenirs aren’t really a must but as a token of your appreciation of those who came to witness your wedding (especially if your guests had to travel form all over), these can be heartwarming.  Choose souvenirs that would go with the theme as well.  Say, if you’re having a coffee and chocolate wedding, a small bag of coffee beans and chocolate would be nice to hand out.

12.    Legal Documents

Bride says:  Requirements for marriage differ from country to country, county to county and even churches.  So familiarize yourself on what documents are needed.  A marriage license is always a must though.

13.    Wedding Planner / Assistant

Bride says:  Girl, you cannot handle everything yourself.  Don’t stress yourself out on the wedding preps.  Hire a wedding planner or if that’s not in the budget, ask your maid of honor, a close friend or your sister to take on some duties.  You don’t want to lose the ring amidst the hullabaloo!  Some hire an On-The-Day Coordinator to help during the wedding itself.

14.    Honeymoon

Bride and Groom say:  ‘Nuff said.